Cardinal William Goh offered candid reflections on love, faith, and the complexities of relationships during his third Heart-to-Heart dialogue this year.
The session, titled “When Love Gets Complicated,” drew about 80 participants — young singles, married couples, and divorcees — who sought guidance on questions surrounding intimacy before marriage, interfaith relationships, and life after divorce.
When asked by a young woman where a couple should “draw the line” in physical intimacy, Cardinal Goh responded, “If you cannot praise God with something you do, you know it’s a sin.”
He urged couples not to approach such matters “in a legalistic way,” but to discern whether their actions were rooted in genuine love or in lust.
“When there is lust, your love is not pure, and you need to purify it,” said Cardinal Goh. “Does the way you love someone bring glory to God, your families, and your friends? Does it build them up or destroy them?”
A participant in her 20s, whose boyfriend’s mother is a Taoist, shared her concern that the older woman was uncomfortable attending a church wedding or allowing future children to attend catechism.
In response, Cardinal Goh advised her to focus on nurturing the relationship with her boyfriend’s mother. “If you are friendly with her, it will be easier to remove whatever doubts and fears she has,” he said.
He suggested presenting catechism not merely as religious instruction but as moral formation. “You are not sending your children to an ideological camp,” he said. “Catechism is helpful for them, but I think your boyfriend’s mother may not understand that yet.”
A divorced woman in her 40s expressed feeling unfairly judged by fellow Catholics despite not choosing her situation. “Some of us did not choose this path,” she said. “We still want to walk closely with Christ.”
Cardinal Goh responded with empathy. “To get divorced is so painful, and to be a single parent is extremely demanding,” he said. “Catholics need to make divorcees feel they are still part of the community – they need our help and encouragement.”
He clarified that while divorcees who remarry cannot receive Holy Communion, they remain part of the Church community. “Please come! You cannot receive communion, but you still can pray,” he said.
Encouraging those affected to live meaningfully, the Cardinal added, “Just because you are divorced, it doesn’t mean you’re condemned for life. Life is still very much ahead of you. It’s how you put meaning into it.”
Photo: VITA Images / Catholic News Singapore
