Cardinal William Goh of Singapore urged parents to anchor their families in faith, love, and patience during a dialogue on parenthood and raising children held last month at the Cathedral of the Good Shepherd.
Addressing questions on faith formation, interfaith marriages, noisy children at Mass, LGBTQ concerns, and infertility, the prelate emphasized that parents must take the lead in forming their children in faith.
“Forming your children in faith involves the whole community. If the parents do not pray, their children will not pray,” Cardinal Goh said in a transcript published by Catholic News SG.
“Catechism will not solve the problem, especially when parents and catechists both tell the children different things,” he said, adding that parenthood “presupposes the parents’ own faith must already be formed.”
He said that the formation of good parents and marriages begins way before a couple gets married. “It begins when they are going through catechism themselves as children.”
On parenting in interfaith marriages, he stressed the importance of preserving the marital relationship. “The most important thing is to save the marriage. If the marriage fails, everything else breaks down,” he said.
He encouraged Catholic spouses to “try to love your non-Catholic spouse” and “find Catholic friends to support you,” adding that “the seed of faith you plant will slowly mature.”
When asked about noisy children during Mass, Cardinal Goh highlighted the need for understanding among parents, parishioners, wardens, and priests.
“Everyone should practise sensitivity, prudence, and compassion,” he said. “If a child makes some noise, let him be. But if a child is screaming for too long, parents should have the common sense to take the child out for a while.”
He added that parents who feel judged should “unite your sufferings with Jesus. It is a purification of love and faith for the sake of your child.”
On LGBTQ concerns, Cardinal Goh urged parents to focus on love rather than confrontation, advising them to avoid beginning the conversation by questioning their child’s absence from church.
“Let them see you as someone who loves them for who they are, not for what they do,” he said.
He clarified that “accepting them does not mean you agree with their lifestyle” and encouraged parents to “journey with them, bring them to Jesus, because only God’s grace can enlighten them.”
Cardinal Goh also underlined the importance of spousal love in building a strong family. “The greatest gift you can give your child is that you love each other first,” he said.
The prelate stressed that if parents are always fighting, “the child would not know who to support and would feel upset.”
For infertile couples and celibates, he stressed that fulfillment goes beyond parenthood, urging them to engage with a wider community and deepen their love through self-giving, which he described as the true measure of holiness.
